In a diverse work environment, the best leaders regularly support team members when personal issues arise: a death in the family, chronic illness, challenges at home. We all talk about work-life balance, but what does a leader need to know to effectively manage personal issues that come up with other employees?
I’ve seen a variety of leaders’ responses to personal crises: “Do whatever you need to do; the work will wait,” or “You have three bereavement days: you can either make up the time or we’ll have to doc your pay.” Seriously.
I’m the leader who says, “Do what you need to do.” I believe in flexible implementation of policy when an employee is faced with challenges outside his/her control, even if it puts the company in a short-term bind. But I’ve also handled the aftermath of the latter response, and it is not pretty. Employees have come to me in tears because their leader was all business about their personal tragedy. So how do you strike a balance between leniency and rigidity?
First, recognize that everyone handles personal challenge differently. Some will want to share the details of their situation; some will be private. Some will want to remain at work through their adversity, and others will simply not be capable of work. Some will want the option to do what they can. The best thing is to recognize differences and to be flexible in managing the situation.
What about precedent, you say? Aren’t there rules, laws even, that must be followed? Well, sure. But there is also decency and respect. Even if rules must be followed, look for ways to be flexible where you can.
The first time I experienced the grace of a leader was when my mother was dying from cancer. Her illness was relatively short—3-1/2 months—and the cancer was all-consuming. I traveled the twelve hours south as often as I could, taking shifts with my dad and siblings as we cared for her around the clock. I had a full caseload of students at that time, including two braille readers.
Although I had a wonderful braillist working on behalf of these students, she did not know the math code. I had not been able to secure a braille version of the first grader’s math textbook, so I was brailling it myself, working through it a few weeks ahead of his class. The book had diagrams on nearly every page—arrow roads, they were called—that had to be hand drawn and labeled in Nemeth code.
Each afternoon I would sit at my parents’ dining room table with the book at my side and a braillewriter in front of me, tapping out the instructions, removing the paper to draw the arrow roads with a tracing wheel, and labeling them with a slate and stylus. When I had ten or so pages completed, I put them in an envelope and mailed them off to the student’s school.
Some criticized me for doing this work, even called me a workaholic. Others chided me for being away from my caseload for more than the allotted time. Here are the actual words my boss said to me when I was fretting about taking another leave: “They’ll still be blind when you get back.” Now those words might offend some, but for this 30-year-old teacher, they were exactly right. Boom! Put things into perspective. You are not indispensable. Move forward. Do what you can.
What my supervisor offered was an opportunity to do what I needed both for my family and for my students. I am grateful for the example he set and have used this leadership stone many, many times, both for myself and on behalf of my colleagues.
When a colleague comes to you with a personal issue, try balancing the needs of the organization with that of the employee: What needs to be done in the individual’s absence? What flexibility can you offer that will help the person in crisis move forward? Providing support both for employees and your organization makes everyone a winner.