I hadn’t expected to write additionally about judgment, until something happened at my work that got me thinking: As leaders, how do we manage the judgment of others, and what do we learn from it?
A little background: I am in the interesting situation where I am working for an organization I left nearly eleven years ago. My position is technical, not supervisory, and I am fortunate to be working with many of the same people whose expertise I benefited from before. As I perused my email after a long holiday weekend, I came upon a lengthy message from a colleague who played a role both during my former tenure and in my new position. This particular email was inflammatory; the colleague was questioning my ability to work effectively with her or her staff in my current position, based on a strained relationship we had had eleven years ago.
Later that same day, I crossed paths with another staff member with whom I had previously worked when I was school principal. She talked about how sad she had been when I left, and the positive influence I had had on her work and the school as a whole. She shared that during difficult times while I was principal, I was able to frame challenges in a way that helped her do her best work. In both situations, I had received feedback from a colleague about my performance. The contrast between the messages was great.
What was I to do with the feedback I received? One person accused me of being disrespectful of her; the other admired my leadership. Could both of these perspectives be true at the same time?
Here’s where I make a plug for leadership stones. We need to be able to consider the information we read, hear, or see and form it into something that works best for us. In instances where others judge us, we need to be willing to take a hard look at the feedback and decide what role it will play in our personal growth. I often ask myself these questions:
· Is the feedback accurate? Is it true?
· How does the information help me grow as a leader?
· What is the learning I will take away from the feedback?
It’s important to remember that any perspective one gains from another’s feedback is one data point (or one stone, to keep with the leadership stone analogy). A leader must consider the array of feedback he or she receives within the context of his or her work. I needed to consider the feedback I received from these two colleagues in the context of my current role, and to reflect on the circumstances in which they occurred.
No leader is immune from judgment. Whether you are the one in charge or someone who provides a technical or support service to others, you will be judged by others. The goal is to listen, consider, and learn.